RV Trip to Maine Part 5 of 8

OK so the bed in the back of the RV is not perfect, and i ended up having the worst sleep on the trip.  Sleeping on a double bed with another dude is not what I preferred, but its what I woke up in.  For fear of entering the demilitarized zone i slept on my side, I woke up numerous times trying to find a comfortable position returning to my side when conscious.

At some point I jumped,  it was morning, but that wasn't the surprise.  What would you do when you felt another dudes arm on your leg? My natural reaction was to turn over and punch my ginger friend in the face   but he wasn't there.  Thankfully, My arm fell asleep, and I spent the next minute jerking it around until blood flowed back into my arm.  Thank god.....

I then saw the boys slowly getting up, and derrick was asking where Matt was.  With no immediate answers we launched an investigation that took us outside around the RV to a person in a cocoon sleeping on two camping chairs.  Apparently I snore, big deal wanna fight about it?  Matt did not look rested at all, but with daylight burning we decided to start take off procedures. I did my best to wash up using the tequila soap and started throwing football with Nate till everyone was ready.

Oh we also got a good view of the damage from the stop sign I hit,  It wasn't that bad, just some paint on the side.... That streaked across the side of the RV like a stripe from the American flag. After everyone joked about it but i was slightly worried about the security deposit until the storm clouds started rolling in.

Thankfully it was Nate's turn to drive, and we made it out of Acadia without incident, our first stop on the way to Portland ME was a Dunkin Donuts.  For some reason this Dunkin Donuts had a high Asian population.  Nate kept on saying numbers and the Asian lady kept getting them wrong.  After being offered a pessi instead so of coffee Nate rolled off a few ethnic slurs and we continued our journey.

I caught up on writing my this blog entry around this time as Matt got out beer trivia to entertain us.  We made our next stop at the allagash brewing company for a tour.  However we got there about a half an hour too soon, after looking around and questioning Nate about the type of wood the bar was made of we went back out to our house and started drinking before the tour..



With smiles on our faces we returned inside for a tasting session of all beer, and entered the brewery that was in full operation.  The sight, the smell, the hustle and bustle was neat to experience since it was the middle of the week, it was just another work day for them.  After hitting the souvenir shop we decided to head back into Portland where we would finally stay in a hotel for our one night on the trip.. 

Derrick amazingly parallel parked the rv, and we locked down the rv.  Two cool dude passed with thick New England accents passed by and stated "I wouldn't park there if I were you" like big tough guys.  They didn't explain why.  Until the hotel receptionist told us we parked next to a crack house. What are the odds, I mean how many times can you say someone parallel parked an rv next to a crack house right? I still find the accomplishment amazing..

In the hotel room it was nice to be in a bathroom that didn't smell like shit.  Omg this was nice, I took the nastiest stink bomb hopped up poop of my life, and had a vent so no one else had to suffer.. And After that I got all spiffed up for a night on the town.  Having a beer before we left the hotel (naturally). We hit up rosi's and gritty McDuffs for a beer.  We checked out Novare Res Bier Cafe their beer menu was quite extensive we had one beer and all decided we would come back.

We left the bar and I knew everyone was starting to feel good when we got the Penn State cheer going ask the sun was setting.  Derrick took us to Sonny's for some liquor based drinks and some food, apparently Adam was starting to feel good at this point and got into a heated argument with nate about the American Chestnut tree.  Nate stated that it was basically extinct, while Adam kept on saying that his grandfather has 2 in his back yard so there's no way that a blight in the 1930s killed them all.  Everyone turned and looked at us, but we didn't care.  We let them argue for a while, I ate my garlic shrimp and chilli and a Allagash white on draft which is now my new favorite beer. 

Putting the dinner on the company card we headed back to Novare Res Bier Cafe where the night starts to get a little fuzzy.  I had 3 more beers which one was about 20 dollars, de struise pannepot 2006 (a quadruple), it was one of those beers that changed at every sip as it warmed and I appreciated every drop.  We got a table and started telling some poop stories again until derrick banned the conversation.  We then popped out our best sex stories.

With our speech slurred we continued back to gritty mcduffs, we had a beer and saw that Adam was getting a case of the nods..  Me and Nate still felt pumped and went back to Novare Res Bier Cafe.  Little did i know that the bars all close in Portland a 1 AM.  They let us get one more beer while we made small talk with the bar tender and watched Mr ghetto walmart rap to close the place down.

On our walk home, I remembered the movie reel big fish about a story about a man who became a catfish.  And had all sorts of adventures.  I did my best to try to summarize the movie to Nate as our laughter hysterically bounced from building to building escaping into the air.

We ended the night in the hotel room playing LCR (Left Right Center), while giving each other relationship advice.  My best word of advice was "how many times can you burn toast" to describe repetitive mistakes while drinking from a measuring cup filled with the right amount of beer to make me fall asleep.

With the man meat sandwich about to ensue in this room, I went to the other room, where I found Adam passed out on the couch and a queen size bed to myself.. I passed out..


To Part 4 or To Part 6

Just Because

Were shooting people, 
     Just,
         Because...

   Like its something to do,
      Because we can't decide,
         On something better,

      And what can I say,
   That I'm surprised,
                 Disappointed?

   No,
     I'm Not,

   I can point the finger,
in any such direction,
      But thats just entertainment,
   These days,

    Placing blame,
  Speculation, 
     Isn't what solves problems,

  That's the news job now,
to report,
     rather then create,

  But,
    I can't tell some days,
all I see are fingers,

Teaching: The Next Mindless Generation.

   We must modify them,
 The way they think,
   To protect them,
 From themselves,

   Whatever the cost,
        We will protect the future,
   By destroying who they would become,
         Expelling any preconceived  evil,

  Jokes are no longer tolerated,
In the classroom,
   In the workplace,
 Zero tolerance is the new norm,

       I often wonder if I'm to blame...

   There is a price to pay,
 For these broad sweeping forms,
  Millions in jail,
    Left to rot like forgotten rats in a dungeon,

 Their minds turning to mush,
   With protruding bones,
 Drinking the toilet shine,
With their brother that were left behind,

        They should have learned,
     When they were children,
          Taught to read and write,
        Only to find out that learning was a blight,

A way to wash out the fun,
   of cops and robbers,
      Tug of war,
 Blown away the competitive games to 1984.

  But when the money runs out,
 No one really cares,
    The bully is back,
       To protect us from stupidity's reform.

Where our loved ones go....

    I'm Slowly losing consciousness,
  Slipping into the abyss,
          Where all thoughts go,
        A Reality Twist,

I can't decide,
    Which is real,
   or which is fake,
  But I'll soon find out if I awake,
     
   I know this seems pleasant,
     talking and walking,
    the sun rise,
      the warmth on my face,

With A deep breath,
  I close my eyes,
     and i'm back in bed,
    dazed, dizzied, confused,

I'm I here,
   Do I exist,
 So many feelings,
       I can't resist,

  I fade to green,
    A grassy field,
   and endless expanse,
     from reel to reel,

    I see old friends,
That have been gone,
   for a while,
       Died long ago... Long long ago...

I think,
  Is this real?
    Do you exist?

I ask them,
       Can I stay?
    Forever this way?

    In time,
      they say,
  you'll have no choice,
      but enjoy your visit,
     every now and then.

                  We'll be waiting.

The Great Equalizer

You may have an advantage over me,
       By being born,
    In this luck of a draw field,
          That we call Planet Earth,

        With
   More money,
     A better family,
   A stable home,

          But don't dawdle,
    in your advantage,
        Because I'm charging like a freight train,
               Chopping at your heals,
   
  I Relish in your lackadaisical attitude.
  and race out the front door,
     turning my dreams
              into reality,

 I'll make it further then you ever could,
       Not that you would,
    Keep everything bottled up,
       Inside, 
       
 But here's my advice to you,

          The greatest expense in life is time,
And you can spend it,
           or waste it,
     the same as everyone else.

A Uneducated Caller

Hello,
   Hello,
     This is my fifth call,

  And I've had it up to..........                here....

    I could tell you,
       Where to go,
  
 But i can see your already there.

   I need to speak with someone,
     Who understands,
   Who cares,
      And won't treat me like a fool...

 You can't use reason,
     To explain what happened,

     But,
I'm unpredictable and uneducated,
   And know how to pass the buck, 
 
    I'll talk in circles,
  Till I change your mind,
  I'll Yell, I'll Scream,
     Till I get my way,

     Cuzz
  Ain't that the American Way?