Help Help!!!
Henderson shouted,
The bouncer arrived,
with befuddled looks,
Hurry! Hurry!
Check his head,
snap your fingers,
try to wake him!
Alvin's asleep,
The bouncers roared,
rolling around,
now on the floor,
In the cloud of hysteria,
Henderson hoped,
they were correct,
shaking his head,
He got some straws,
and cut one end,
holding them out,
to see who's driving Alvin home,
Nobody Notice,
The lips,
Were now Blue,
They picked one by one,
silently cursing,
at each correct guess,
With all straws pull,
he was the winner,
Lucky,
He never won,
Anything before,
Laughter erupted,
As the bouncers pointed,
"You fuckers are helping",
"To my car at least",
Henderson shouted
Sure Boss,
No worries,
They grabbed his legs,
and grabbed his arms,
hes a big sucker and flipped him over,
They looked at his face,
And saw his lips,
Henderson is that normal?
Shit,
Henderson though...
Standing still,
for all eternity,
Call 911.
To Part 8 or To Part 9
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
RV Trip to Maine Part 3 of 8
Day 2
Adam and Nate were up first getting the most sleep cuddled next to each other in the back. They must of thought it was gay so they decided to start moving around the RV all incognito trying to be sneaky. Adam apparently needs to practice his sneakiness skills because when he tried making breakfast he set off the fire alarm in the Wal-mart parking lot. Nate found the RV manual and was trying to see how to get us back on the road and my pooping situation was still yet unresolved. Derick naturally was worried about his cleanliness (or else he wouldn't be able to wheel and deal) and broke out his tequila hand soap. Matt just simply didn't move.
I let every one do there thing and meandered over to wal-mart to check out the lavatories. They were squeaky clean and didn't smell bad at all, until i was through with it. Not bragging but the browns defiantly won the super bowl, and a log of epic proportion ejected from my anus. when i got up to look at it, I contemplated on taking a picture of it. but instead i sent my knobles flume like raft down the drain, watching the poor white toilet bowl turn into a brown cow.
It took a few seconds but I had some pep to my step and immediately went to the sink. It appears mr Patel had a job at wal-mart too, I said a friendly hello and he smiled and immediately went into the stall I completely destroyed and started cleaning. Whistling while he worked. Poor Guy....
I decided to walk around wal-mart for a little bit and found a pig skin we could toss around, and some ice for all the beer we have and made our way back to the RV. I could hear the fire alarm ringing out as i was walking back but I didn't mind, Adam was cooking bacon. Matt and Derick left to take there lap through wal-mart I ate breakfast, and we started working on the RV.
Adam though we were low on gas so i drove with the extension still out hoping it would move some gas in there so it would close. Nope... Nate then though he would get the RV closed with brute force and tried forcing it while adam saw the button nate was trying to retract the unit in with and simply held it in. Apparently it was a bypass button in case the generator did not work so the RV would run directly off the battery.
The boys were ready to hit the road so adam drove us to the nearest gas station. We started seeing how much this bad boy was going to cost to get filled and it took about 40 gallons or close to 150 dollars.. I sat in the kitchenette of the RV drinking a Dark and Stormy, looking out the window reading some game of thrones (winter is still coming).
Three Dark and Stormy's later we were driving through a dense concentration of evergreen trees(cross that off my bucket list). Nate had to use the bathroom but i didn't even smell it because the air was so fresh. I even squeaked in a nap or a "nap-a-roo because kangaroos take naps too".
I woke up after my 10 min nap and we were at Ebenezer pub in New Hampshire. Apparently its the number one beer bar in the united states. I was naturally a little intoxicated, smoked a cigarette and joined the boys at the table. We all demanded fancy beer talking to the waitress about brewing, while soccer played in the corner of the bar. I ordered a Ruben and started talking about German, Sherman, Herman. Some rant about w w 2.
We left Ebenezer and continued down the road, Matt decided to come back and we started playing war while drinking a few brews. Adam joined us half way through the round and we all were worried about Nate's driving going 80 miles per hour down a back road. Derick the co-pilot at the time said he didn't have time to slow down because he was a deal maker so that's how we rolled.
The breakfast club (me Matt and Adam) tried playing Egyptian Cork Screw and later 31 before calling it quits because the the driver. Nate really wanted to get some french fries and some gravy over the boarder, but we were only going to Maine.
But due to the bouncing we all took a short nap and awoke when we hit Belfast ME. Nate did a 3 point turn (party), and we parked at a small RV park right next to the bay. We all piled out, checking out the water, and started setting up for the night. After we were half set up Matt the thinker started talking about food, and we then tore down the camp site and went to the lobster pound right down the road.
We ate right on the dock and had 1 1/2 pound lobsters and huge clams with butter that would knock your socks off. Being tourists we ended up taking pictures of people with cameras and went back to the RV for the night. We ended up having a fire (which i ended up starting with a magnesium rod) and it turned colder then a witches tit with the breeze blowing in off the ocean. We huddled as close as we dared to the fire and started watching videos of Will Farrel impersonating gw bush while taking our drinking to another gear. The liberal agitators were threatening our freedoms, so we went inside when the RV park turned quiet.
The party moved into the RV where we played many rounds of drunk driver, while Derick was outside working on a new angle with his lady friend on the phone. We decided to make the rules permanent throughout the trip so if you won 3 times in a row you could create any rule for asshole you wanted. For the first time in ever Adam became president and made 5s wild, somewhere inbetween we took a short commercial break "one eight hundred 877 cash cow" and matt got a community plate for snacks that was never changed so the crumbs kept piling up at the bottom of the plate.
Derick joined us at the breakfast nook with a folding table and some one consumed franks red hot hard boiled eggs. Needless to say we called it a night, I went outside to take a leak putting my hand on the side of the RV like the leaning tower knowing that i was decently drunk and was surprised how loud we were. Tonight were free men and we can do as we please. Thoughts of freedom and America flowed through my mind as I went back to the RV...
That quickly faded as I opened the door to the most rancid combination of ass i ever smelt in my life. I quickly opened all windows and realized I would be sleeping on the ass palace or aka kitchenette. The place where Red Hot Eggs was consumed and then immediately ejected in gas form. For fear of the stink eye i was careful to stay on the sleeping bag waking occasionally throughout the night to ensure my extremities did not touch the upholstery.
To part 2 or To part 4
Adam and Nate were up first getting the most sleep cuddled next to each other in the back. They must of thought it was gay so they decided to start moving around the RV all incognito trying to be sneaky. Adam apparently needs to practice his sneakiness skills because when he tried making breakfast he set off the fire alarm in the Wal-mart parking lot. Nate found the RV manual and was trying to see how to get us back on the road and my pooping situation was still yet unresolved. Derick naturally was worried about his cleanliness (or else he wouldn't be able to wheel and deal) and broke out his tequila hand soap. Matt just simply didn't move.
I let every one do there thing and meandered over to wal-mart to check out the lavatories. They were squeaky clean and didn't smell bad at all, until i was through with it. Not bragging but the browns defiantly won the super bowl, and a log of epic proportion ejected from my anus. when i got up to look at it, I contemplated on taking a picture of it. but instead i sent my knobles flume like raft down the drain, watching the poor white toilet bowl turn into a brown cow.
It took a few seconds but I had some pep to my step and immediately went to the sink. It appears mr Patel had a job at wal-mart too, I said a friendly hello and he smiled and immediately went into the stall I completely destroyed and started cleaning. Whistling while he worked. Poor Guy....
I decided to walk around wal-mart for a little bit and found a pig skin we could toss around, and some ice for all the beer we have and made our way back to the RV. I could hear the fire alarm ringing out as i was walking back but I didn't mind, Adam was cooking bacon. Matt and Derick left to take there lap through wal-mart I ate breakfast, and we started working on the RV.
Adam though we were low on gas so i drove with the extension still out hoping it would move some gas in there so it would close. Nope... Nate then though he would get the RV closed with brute force and tried forcing it while adam saw the button nate was trying to retract the unit in with and simply held it in. Apparently it was a bypass button in case the generator did not work so the RV would run directly off the battery.
The boys were ready to hit the road so adam drove us to the nearest gas station. We started seeing how much this bad boy was going to cost to get filled and it took about 40 gallons or close to 150 dollars.. I sat in the kitchenette of the RV drinking a Dark and Stormy, looking out the window reading some game of thrones (winter is still coming).
Three Dark and Stormy's later we were driving through a dense concentration of evergreen trees(cross that off my bucket list). Nate had to use the bathroom but i didn't even smell it because the air was so fresh. I even squeaked in a nap or a "nap-a-roo because kangaroos take naps too".
I woke up after my 10 min nap and we were at Ebenezer pub in New Hampshire. Apparently its the number one beer bar in the united states. I was naturally a little intoxicated, smoked a cigarette and joined the boys at the table. We all demanded fancy beer talking to the waitress about brewing, while soccer played in the corner of the bar. I ordered a Ruben and started talking about German, Sherman, Herman. Some rant about w w 2.
We left Ebenezer and continued down the road, Matt decided to come back and we started playing war while drinking a few brews. Adam joined us half way through the round and we all were worried about Nate's driving going 80 miles per hour down a back road. Derick the co-pilot at the time said he didn't have time to slow down because he was a deal maker so that's how we rolled.
The breakfast club (me Matt and Adam) tried playing Egyptian Cork Screw and later 31 before calling it quits because the the driver. Nate really wanted to get some french fries and some gravy over the boarder, but we were only going to Maine.
But due to the bouncing we all took a short nap and awoke when we hit Belfast ME. Nate did a 3 point turn (party), and we parked at a small RV park right next to the bay. We all piled out, checking out the water, and started setting up for the night. After we were half set up Matt the thinker started talking about food, and we then tore down the camp site and went to the lobster pound right down the road.
We ate right on the dock and had 1 1/2 pound lobsters and huge clams with butter that would knock your socks off. Being tourists we ended up taking pictures of people with cameras and went back to the RV for the night. We ended up having a fire (which i ended up starting with a magnesium rod) and it turned colder then a witches tit with the breeze blowing in off the ocean. We huddled as close as we dared to the fire and started watching videos of Will Farrel impersonating gw bush while taking our drinking to another gear. The liberal agitators were threatening our freedoms, so we went inside when the RV park turned quiet.
The party moved into the RV where we played many rounds of drunk driver, while Derick was outside working on a new angle with his lady friend on the phone. We decided to make the rules permanent throughout the trip so if you won 3 times in a row you could create any rule for asshole you wanted. For the first time in ever Adam became president and made 5s wild, somewhere inbetween we took a short commercial break "one eight hundred 877 cash cow" and matt got a community plate for snacks that was never changed so the crumbs kept piling up at the bottom of the plate.
Derick joined us at the breakfast nook with a folding table and some one consumed franks red hot hard boiled eggs. Needless to say we called it a night, I went outside to take a leak putting my hand on the side of the RV like the leaning tower knowing that i was decently drunk and was surprised how loud we were. Tonight were free men and we can do as we please. Thoughts of freedom and America flowed through my mind as I went back to the RV...
That quickly faded as I opened the door to the most rancid combination of ass i ever smelt in my life. I quickly opened all windows and realized I would be sleeping on the ass palace or aka kitchenette. The place where Red Hot Eggs was consumed and then immediately ejected in gas form. For fear of the stink eye i was careful to stay on the sleeping bag waking occasionally throughout the night to ensure my extremities did not touch the upholstery.
To part 2 or To part 4
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