Circles: Part one - A memory

Author note: I enjoy how my character slips into non-existence in this part to start the story. Here he's simply contemplating his last thoughts before slipping into unconsciousness. Obviously being at a bar and having relationship problems are common place these days, follow closely, but don't analyze every move that happens in the unconscious for the mind is purely unpredictable.

Circle,
circle,
sign wave function,
is any part of life more important then at this junction?

I sit here blankly,
whitewashed,
empty minded;
a light flickers at the end of my vision.

I follow blindly,
unnerved,
unnoticed.
Will the end be what I always held closest?

She smiles as atoms implode as distant thoughts of ecstasy escape my unconscious mind.

A lady,
blond and brilliant,
who’s only known throughout my childhood as a distant villain.

Permission granted,
she explores her options,
a request I held close to my chest.

But now she’s gone,
like a curious child,
never to notice my hidden smile.

Days turn to weeks,
weeks turn to months,
and months turn into years.

A part of me is eternally lost,
as time stands still,
doomed forever to grasp for mere air.

The days turn darker now;
I lay here unnoticed,
hoping to regain something I held closest.

I loved her,
thought she’ll never know,
for the feelings of remorse captivate my soul.

I’m ashamed,
my love silences me to sleep,
and my love freezes my being into a useless heap.

An empty shell,
sickened by a never-ending quest,
to forget her in all of her unending beauty.

But even from afar the memories remain.

Tears dry up,
my eyes sag red,
as tear ducts finally lose their meaning;
to be trapped in a bar less cage,
unseen to even the noblest of eyes.

To Prolog or To Part Two