Updates

First i would like to say Kennedy Drive is getting back in the studio... October 21st we plan to record the first part of out new CD. Additional times will be needed to complete this CD, but the oldest songs will be recorded first so we can concentrate on newer songs... kennedydrive.com will be coming up around that time too. I'm thinking that I'll post little giblets from our jam sessions to make the site interesting (i have about 3.42 gigs of us just jamming).

More recently I've received a new server that I'm using as a UNIX box.. Currently I'm running FreeBSD on it and sometimes wonder who the hell figured this OS out.. I successfully installed UNIX, connected it to the internet, downloaded packages such as pico, but i still need to figure out how to make aliases (which i think i messed up when editing my .cshrc file and have to re-install UNIX for a second time.. (in other terms I'm just creating shortcut commands))..

As for my job at rite aid, I'm starting to know what I am doing for most situations. I'm also slowly seeing myself move up the ranks of the company only being at my job for 5 months, viewing older techs slowly moving on to different jobs and taking their job responsibilities.. But I'm seeing a lot of older tech just move on...

Therefor I've also decided that its best t look for new opportunities that may arise... This Saturday I applied for a position at SU as a DBA/Systems Administrator... If nothing else i'll get a simply no and continue working at Rite Aid...

Peace

In reorganizing my blog I felt it useful to post the bands website for our old archived stuff enjoy if you find this... http://www.myspace.com/kennedydrive

Busy Schedule

The date should actually be July 27th not July 1st... I edited a old journal because i didn't really do anything with it.. Its funny that it still keeps that date regardless of when you post an item.. The date posted is simply the creation date...

Anywoo
Well its been a little while since i wrote but I've been busy trying to accomplish everything on my schedule which seems harder and harder to appease...

With every day off it seems like i need to accomplish something on that date so it the day itself is not considered a waste.. It also seems that on every moment available its harder to get something done, little by little they get done but nothing monstrous like i us to be able to accomplish..

At the moment I'm enjoying just spending time with Steph (so I'll do beer trips/my personal projects when i have free time when she leaves for South America.. I believe you have to enjoy spending time with people your with because you might not have it in the end...), wedding plans, the band, various parties, and other family events.. It seems that my personal schedule has come to a halt while i try to process all this information through my queue... I am however looking forward to this weekend because my good friend Matt is coming home and Saturday is a designated relax/drinking day before my schedule picks back up...

I've been slacking on the writing so I'll try to think of something more insightful on my car ride home...

Protection of Knowledge

In order to have more money in this world you must be smarter then the other guy. While its good to help people every once in a while and help them move up you also need to keep your secrets to yourself in order to bring your value up. So if you keep your best secrets to yourself, then your value will be high in the field you specialize in...

Here lies the problem with society.. If people are too afraid to reveal there secrets.. We'll naturally get dumber as a society because people will only remember the secrets to getting the most money.. Is money what this life is all about??

Music to My Ears

Now that the band is back together we've been thinking about recording a CD... Just down the street and doing it quasi professionally again... I've been thinking that we could basically do that type of CD if we just had the proper equipment to accomplish this task.. Therefore I've been putting some real thought into finally buying the proper mic kit i would need for my drums..

Have a look...

We'd probably need a new mixer also but that's currently in the works... (or we'll see pile)

I'm also getting ready for a trip down to Columbia Maryland this Thursday to see Wilco play. To get ready for the concert i am taking all my wilco cd's to work to refresh my mind and to be able to sing along with the lyrics..

The Time Que

Oh how i miss the days of not working, having all the time in the world to do various projects.

Right now it is hard to accomplish any writing while furthering my career, having a girl friend and trying to get things back together with the band. I was use to seeing results in fields of my life instantaneously but now i feel like this time sharing between tasks is only moving them along at miniscule paces. I'm no longer seeing the leaps and bounds and feel like a 286 Pentium trying to process high powered applications.

Now when a computer processes a bunch of applications all at once and can't handle the workload it tends to freeze... I always wondered why...

I sort of understand now, when I'm working throughout the day, i have all these tasks planned, but in the end i only get a handful of them done. You need some time in life to freeze, to not do anything and let you brain process the information before adding more activities to your que.. And just relax...

Thoughts on Gas

1.) gas prices should be standardized.... They shouldn't flux between 2.80 to 3.07 because of a driving session.. We know there's going to be increased need at this time in the beginning of the year so wouldn't it just be wise to say hey were all going to pay 2.89 for gas for the entire year instead of hiking gas prices up and down every time there's increased consumption.

2.) We need to have a larger oil reserve/gas reserve in this country. Whatever the amount is its way too low to sustain our country for very long. Right now i think our current system has us alright for one month..

3.) Refineries should schedule downtime/maintenance on an alternating schedule so that no two refineries are down at the same time. As well as trying not to schedule downtime during summer driving and winter heating session...

4.) when gas prices go over a certain amount say 3.00 cents its mandatory that the gas company invest those profits in the oil infrastructure /alternate fuel / do something to lower the cost of gas... Honestly there's no difference between this year and last year in terms of supply and we were paying 2.30 for gas... They simply did not invest in their infrastructure causing a choke point where gas comes into the country.... By controlling that aspect they can keep gas prices higher then they were..

That is all for this subject...

Gas

The next time you drive down the highway and you see gas prices at one station way lower then you expect... Any typical American would move their foot from the gas pedal to the break, look at their gas situation... and decide whether or not to buy gas at this cheap place...

Quite often we might drive to one particular gas station to obtain our gallons of gasoline...

But look where that left us, by only buying gas at a certain station, the gas stations slowly dwindled in competitive areas... Competitive pricing is no longer one of their plans of the oil industry as they start to work together at setting prices in certain areas... Competitive pricing is still going on to a point, and its not too late for us to make a difference in this gas consumption war.

Now instead of buying gas all the time at the cheapest location every single time, i think its our duty to buy gas that might be two cents more then the cheapest gas... To be honest we need to keep competition in the gas industry, or we'll have places like sheetz who buy the cheapest gas they can (with a slightly higher water content) and get an over all worse product... All because we wanted to save a few cents....

The funny thing is, were now paying the same amount for this cheap gas now as a quality gas product. ultra low quality gas, or gas that's able to just run are cars is now being made readily available and you have to buy fuel cleaner just to make sure your gas is alright... I say, the low quality gas stations are good for competition, but keep buying the better quality gas so it stays in America...

We need a mix of both and not overindulgence in either...

The only way to truly keep gas prices low, is to keep the gas stations open where competition is fierce... If you see a station struggling across the street, don't just let it go... because in a few years your gas station you spent all that money at will charge more then what the other one would have...

Another thing we should do is get rid of one of the grades of gasoline, maybe instead creating two products of gas that are in between low and mid and mid and high...

Making the most of a day

Well i wanted to write this post a while back on the 30th of may... but i really haven't had time to ponder about this subject and write for the past couple of days... Its seems that everyday is now packed with some sort of event or activity, and I've begun to realize time really flies when your working, have a girl friend, and try to plan time in between to meet old friends/make new, and enjoying life...

As long as your content with a day,
You made the most,
of what you could.

On another note:
I must admit, tomorrow (Sunday) I'm finally going to take a well deserved nap and probably continue reading a book.. I could go out and see a movie or try to do an event but i also realize that making most of your day could be resting for the next. The book I'm into right now "Dracula" is completely different then what i expected... I like it so far, but won't cast my two cents over the side until i finish the book..

I like these older horror books because of the way the writers write (Frankenstein is my favorite book). And I'm beginning to realize that could improve my own writing by reading...

Currently:
That's the hold up at the moment with my book... I'm just taking a small break and reading...
Dracula....

Muhahaw..   <---- Spell check has this as Muhammad

longer work weeks

I've recently started my rotating weekends at my job and i must say it does make the work week a little longer.. To start, i work Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday... Have Thursday off, then work Friday, Saturday Sunday, Monday.. have Tuesday off.. work Wednesday Thursday Friday and then its the weekend.. Repeat Schedule...

With it being Monday today, i can't wait for tomorrow, because it marks the 2/3rds point of the weekend and I'll only have 3 more days to work until the weekend. Typically, people get this way around hump day, but i began to realize that my hump day is Saturday night/Sunday morning where i only have 5 days to work but have a day off in between...

Trapping

My dad caught a squirreltoday,
In one of those traps,
That makes an individual wonder,
how stupid animals really are...

It went in the trap,
that had one entrance,
my father placed food placed in in the center,
so once it entered the front door for the food
the door would close...

Now this squirrel,
clawed all around the trap in the morning,
but did not enter the trap,

It took until i came home from work that i discovered,
the squirrel by a rustle of noise,

I was surprised to see a squirrel so big that filled the whole trap,
(probably a good foot, foot and a half long...

Realizing the squirrel was successfully secured in the trap,
I listen to it rustle against the metal cage,
for a little while,
amazed that the squirrel actually went in there,
and I waited for my dad to get home,
so we could take the squirrel out of town,

when he arrived,
we drove to the forested area just past a wood mill,
and I pulled the car over so my dad could get out,

when we released it
my father had,
a proud look on his face,
followed by a surprised expression on how fast the squirrel moved,

he got back in the car,
and told me,
his friends catch these squirrels,
and release them into the forest,

one of his friends,
caught more then 20.

On the drive home,
I thought this was something i would do,
if i didn't have to do anything else,

something i would of done if i had some money
when i was younger,

so
I guess its a game,
you play when your older,
trying to find things,
to occupy the mind.

Sounds like re-living a childhood...

Drive, Keep Looking Forward

I've learned a lesson when driving to work.. I use to look at people when i passed them if they did something idiotic to piss me off while driving ... By looking over i would have a face to blame and a typical stereotype to throw an individual into... I always thought this brought closure to my situation knowing who the individual is... but more and more I'm learning that its just not worth knowing exactly who did what stupid act on the road at any point.. I mean yes I'll look over and glance at the car to see if it has dents in it to see if they're a bad driver...

But i don't want to remember a specific face that will stay in my mind the rest of the day.. I now tend to just notice dented cars and drive a little more cautions... Look in my mirror and notice a speeding car approaching which is either a cop or a person going to get pulled over by a cop... so its always a good idea to slow down...

Basically the lesson to learn is anyone can be a bad driver, the best signs of bad drivers are by the actual cars. Putting faces to a situation puts emotion into a situation and its just not needed. Everyone's able to make a mistake and the mistakes that are showing are the ones to look out for...

Submitting

I've decided that the best way for my book to get published in the near future (which by the way is still a good ways off) is to have some creditability... How do i exactly do this? buy submitting some work to literary journals across the country to try to have some of my work published..

I also realized that when submitting work to these journals that the vast majority of them are hard to get work published and very competitive. its typically takes 2 to 3 months to get work considered depending on which journal I'm submitting to..

So to start, I'm not going to swing for the fences and try to get my work published in the "paris review" my favorite literary journal. But I am currently searching for smaller journals and submitting work to at least get something published and get that monkey off of my back..

As soon as i hear back from a reviewing magazine/journal that a work of mine has been published i'll let everyone know on here.. but until then.. The daily task of writing envelops my life.

Budget

As much as i really enjoy spending money, i also learned that its important to try to save as much as possible when were younger... So recently its come to my attention to start keeping a budget... When going out to the store, or mall i look at my bank account and shrug.. I'm getting a paycheck next week my funds will be replenished...

But then i realize i have other bills I'm not accounting for yet, the car insurance, rent, loans, and other future bills that will pop out of no where... Its wise to have at least a little bit saved in the bank for when these come around...

It sucks this time around because my bank account was zero going into this job so i payed my parents back for borrowed gas and gave them some rent money as well as bought 4 presents for various people this week. So with the goal is to try to save as much as possible from every paycheck, even though i was only able to save 200 from this one.. Stupid occupation privileged tax and not getting my shift differential of 7% for second shift (because i worked first shift for training) made my pay check just a little under what i expected.. But after i get my bank account replenished in the next few months i can start to do things that i really wanted to do for a while...

I did splurge though this week and bought two cds i thought i would really enjoy... Wilco's sky blue sky and elliot smiths new moon... But i think I'm going to limit myself to one CD/DVD per paycheck just until i get a firm footing...

A New Perspective on Age

With age comes responsibility... i think that's a fair assessment that everyone realizes when they get older... Theres certain ways to act in a variety of situations and your expected to act more professionally in these situations rather then letting them spin out of control.. I think everyone realizes this part of age and will not argue...

My new perspective while driving home from work tonight was the realization that I'm not important.. While yes i am important, my inner goals in life should not be centered around my own selfish viewpoint... Adults grow older and realize this, they want another part of themselves and thus a relationship is born.. Your no longer dealing with your own singular views anymore and have someone to help you along the way...

Eventually I might have kids, they start to grow up, become teenagers... But every little event they have seems like the most important thing in the world.. When in reality, in a few years a couple people might remember that event and tell a story about a particular event.. That's all we are when we leave for adult hood... Stories and ideas...

Talking

The vast majority of my job is trying to figure out what exactly is going wrong from another persons standpoint without physically being there... This task is accomplished over the phone, and with proper communication skills however emotions quite often get in the way of this communication process and your left with an individual yelling about an issue that you can't fix..

At this part of communicating you normally say can i put you on hold for a minute i need to look up some information.. and you let them cool down for about 30 seconds and then answer the phone.. When you do your few seconds of research, you realize while the issue has been a problem for 3 or 4 months. No one at the store reported the problem and they have no real right to be angry with anyone in the department. (i should technically have the right to be angry that this person when they don't report their problem and then proceed to yell at me because we didn't fix the issue 4 months ago... but that's neither here nor there...)

Regaining my professional composure I pick up the phone again, and thankfully the individual has calmed down a little bit to allow the communication process to flow more smoothly.

Now, when dealing with people across the country women in the south are the coolest to deal with. Their laid back and will do what you ask, and eventually you will get their problem fixed... Southern women are comparable to the mountain time zone individuals.. Time in the mountains goes slower it seems and their willing to take the extra step to solve problems...

People in the north east, central states, southern males are about average to deal with.. They'll do the majority of what you say, but a few things they won't do because they've done them already and think they know what's best... Typically you can see that they've done it hundreds of times and they know what they're talking about so you can let them slide on a few steps...

People on the west coat are the worst to deal with.. While i always though i would one day want to move out west to California, I'm beginning to realize that people out there move too fast for their own good.. they don't realize how they fit into the general picture with the rest of the united states because they're so far ahead of everyone; and they don't realize they could stop and look around once in a while... Problems can often be solved if you stop and listen for the answer rather then racing for the finish line..

The Playground

black blood drips across the icy asphalt,suffocating,
the rats only playground.

an empty bottle rolls over,
the inky streets,
like a limerick off an Irish man's tongue,

a child peddles forward,
down cemetery hill,
observing the darkness,
of a centuries past killer,

picking up speed,
the pedals spin furiously,
as the small boy blazes by,
a cracked headstone,

a cough echoes,
displacing the warmth,
inside lungs,

the child gasps,
as the wind chills his lifeless breath,

it overcomes,
losing grip on the handlebars,

the gliding tires,
begin to skid on a patch of sand,

Disrupting the center of gravity,
the boy tumbles,
a violent head over heels,
onto the frozen blackness...

First Day of Work

I woke up at 5:50 am to get ready for work. Took a shower, drank coffee, drank more coffee and was on my way. I left my house at 6:30 because i didn't know how long it would take to get down to harrisburg, but it seems like it takes an hour and 5 minutes although I'll be leaving an hour and 15 minutes just to be safe.

I drove down 522, to selinsgrove, to stop at the bank and get some money, and continued my journey down 11&15 eventually making the turn onto 322 with little traffic. From there I continued my journey although traffic was beginning to pick up. Constantly in the left lane i avoided the slower tractor trailers and grannies driving down the road and was able to navigate my way to 81 east toward carlile. I decided to take the 581 exit to camp hill instead of driving to mechanicsburg and discovered that i successfully cut 7 minutes off my trip time instead of driving all the way up carlile pike.

But from there i turned right, onto sporting hill drive, drove to the end and made a right. At the next intersection (light) i made a left, until i came to a street called simpson street and promptly made a right. The building i work at is probably 2 blocks down on the right where rite aid fss is located.

I was early obviously so i had to wait to get inside the building. There were 5 other individuals in my class so i took this time to chat with them and get to know the people. As for the actual work we did, it was mostly orientation things, company policies, procedures, training videos, and paper work. Although at the end of the day we got to listen in to the calls to see what we were going to be doing later on.

I was happier about going into this job because I'm actually getting trained, instead of like penteledata where they didn't show you anything (unless you did it wrong).

But It turns out I'll be in training for 3 weeks and then have an assessment on how my abilities are. From there, I'll be placed on the second shift 12-9 with an hour lunch (unpaid) and two breaks (15 min paid). Its actually required to take a break unlike ptd where you could fit one in if you had time.

I also found out that its going to be a lot easier, considering i won't have to work with 3rd party vendors and everything we have (equipment) some sort of documentation for. So I'll just say right now I'm excited but I'll have to elaborate more later on in the week when we do something more exciting then orientation stuff....

Peace kids..

Around the House

The husband wakes up early to do his weekly property maintenance because after a certain hour in the day it becomes intolerable to work outside in the summer heat. He mows the grass, tends his garden, and on certain days does something out of the ordinary. On this day there was two particular areas on his property that annoyed him greatly, and both had to deal with bees. Every time he moved his lawn mower by a particular bush and tree on his property they would greet him with a friendly sting. He would run away from the area about a good 20 yards with his hands waving wildly in the air swearing at these little creatures. And gradually they settled down back in the hive. But for some reason today, the the husband was tired of them.

He couldn't settled down as he would any other day and like a hiccup occurs in your brain; he formulated a plan to be rid of the bees once and for all. Instead of going to the store, and getting a spray repellent, or some sort of tool to help him in his endeavor, he marched straight into the basement. The husband needed 4 things, but it would take him a half hour to find because his wife just moved an assortment of files downstairs that threw off the entire organization of the basement. Instead of clearing out an area for them, she simply placed them in the walkway area so that he would deal with the problem. The wife never went downstairs but when she did, her arms were loaded.

Now the husband could of been tired after waking up early, doing his outside maintenance, and organizing files, but he was still determined to deal with the problem. After a few moments of wondering around trying to remember what he was doing he found what he was looking for: a stick, a cloth, some gas, and matches.

The husband must have formulated this plan while watching Sunday morning cartoons when the coyote's was trying one of his schemes to capture the road runner. Grinning to himself and crazy eyed he emerges from the basement, sits down, and places his tools on his open carport. The husband then proceeds to soak the cloth in the gasoline and wrap it around one end of the stick. Holding the opposite end of the stick much like a cave man would, he strikes the match and lights the cloth on fire.

Across the way, the neighbor lays in his hammock content with the work he accomplished. He sips his lemonade relaxing in the summer breeze, soaking in the sun. The neighbor took notice that the husband was acting quite weird and cast a gaze over in his direction. Noticing fire, his attention was immediately consumed with curiosity as to what the husbands motives were. Still sipping on lemonade he began to realize he could use some popcorn.

The husband walks over to the first beehive located in a tree on his property. He takes the stick and lights the hive on fire. There were some leaves that were singed but because there was still some dew left on the leaves the hive took the brunt of the damage and was completely destroyed. A triumphant look came across his face as the first hive was destroyed. "Take that you little buggers" he exclaimed.

He began to walk over to the bush located just a 30 yards to the right of the tree where another hive was located. Just about the time he was going to light the bush on fire the neighbor shouted "I wouldn't do that if I were you". The husband looked up and said there was still enough dew on the plant that it wouldn't be effected. The neighbor shouted back, "we use evergreens to start a fire in the middle of winter when snows on the ground, they're more flammable then you think". "Well we'll see what happens", so the husband haste-fully lights the second hive on fire before another word could come out of the neighbors mouth.

At first the hive caught fire, and the husband turned to the neighbor with a smile on his face. It was starting to die out but before it did the insides of the bush started to spark. Before he knew it the husband foresaw a problem arising. The husband ran across the yard to get the hose, grabbing it with his right arm and sprinted back across the yard. Around the halfway point his feet slipped from underneath him and his limbs flailed wildly in the air before coming to rest on the freshly cut grass.

To his dismay, the husband saw the hose was tangled, and unable to go the entire way across the yard. If he had more time he could untangle the hose, but time was short for his bush so he decided to let the hose rip and created an arc of water that would travel over a tree and generally splash the area where the bush was located. This Protected the rest of the area from fire but didn't help the poor bush. Black smoke filled the air, and the bush was consumed in a blaze.

Still spraying the area with water the husband watched the last of the fire die out. The neighbor shouted "I told you so" as he could hear the loud slurps from the end of his lemonade. The charred black branches were all that remained of a problematic area.

The husband tired and distraught would wait till tomorrow to cut down, because the summer heat finally took its toll.

theantidrug.com

This is a letter i wrote to the antidrug. I guess i need to find a new topic besides drugs but i really don't like that American political system defines drugs as a criminal problem rather then a social problem.


Letter
-------------------------------------------------------------
We honestly do not have the ability to keep every American off drugs. We can tell them it’s wrong, we can tell them their friends will come down the street and just say “hey I have something for you to try”. But in the end they’re going to have to make that decision.

My major concern isn’t keeping drugs out of the county. I don’t believe that’s the problem. What I dislike is the drug war that’s happening in the United States. And by allowing violent drug dealers to thrive in our atmosphere; or to allow a no knock policy for our police force because a violent drug dealer could be in a house in a bad neighborhood. Innocent people die in this war because we are too focused on purifying humans.

You know what we should do. Educate our children. Not just by having people come in and say drugs are bad, they’ll ruin your life. But also by people who used drugs safely throughout their lives. They only smoked pot maybe 1-5 times a year, and say its ok but don’t go crazy with it; just like alcohol. We have charts to warn individuals based on body weight if they’d be a safe to drive but you have no charts available on other drug usage which would help people better understand what is safe and what is not. In the end children will have to learn responsibility with drugs with or without you and the only way they learn that now is by experience.

By not educating people on safe drug usage, people don’t realize the danger zone their approaching and become addicts. True this might happen if we educate them or not, but at least we gave them a chance.

Billions of dollars are being spent to fight this, jail cells are being built, and for what? People who are simply balancing the supply and demand; there is demand and their always will be. The responsible thing as a society for us to do is educate, take the drugs out of violent drug dealers hands, and declassify this criminal act as a social problem much like alcohol abuse.

Brian Vincent

abovetheinfluence.com

I like writing to random people and stating my opinion; so here's a letter I wrote to abovetheinfluence.com in the comment section to improve their website.

Letter
----------------------------------------------------

We are privileged to live in this world of black and white, right and wrong. Constantly in balance with the other side. But I can't help noticing a shade of grey that exists between lines. That shouts out loud like a fallen tree in the forest.

This grey area is constantly moving back, receding into the white and laying claim for black. We slowly lose our balance, and throw children in cells, who are trying to profit from the supply and demand of a multi billion dollar industry. Living in a capitalist society, you can't deny the profitability, but you defined it as wrong and build more jails.

Are these individuals truly criminal? Our friends, our fathers, our brothers and sisters, trying to survive, working minimum wage in areas where moneys tight. Are they horrible people? No, it seems to me that crime occurs more often when poverty is the central issue an individual life.

But let’s get back on the trail; I believe drugs are a social problem. Where individuals are not properly educated on the effects of drugs other then "just say no". There is no alcohol consumption chart that shows you where your cutoff point is. Individuals have to figure these things out for themselves and thus develop problems. Your black and white politics are hurting American society and wasting billions of dollars fighting the drug war.

Innocent people die in wars (that includes the drug war), and I think its time to take the drugs out of violent drug dealers hands and become more grown up as a society. You can't live in a world of complete darkness, for you'll never see. And you can't live in a world of light, for you'll never open your eyes. Only in a world of grey can we see the full spectrum of colors and the beauty before our eyes.

Be diplomatic, there are responsible ways to use drugs (other then a war). Moderation is key. Don't be the droning voice that teenagers won't believe.


There’s millions of websites out there against you and millions for you.
Simply define in between.
Eye to Eye.

Brian Vincent

Writing Exercise

I want to do something different today. Instead of writing a story, a poem, or something philosophical i want to post an exercise that individuals can do to increase their writing potential. Seeing as i don't want this exercise to take a long period of time I'd like individuals to write a paragraph. Simply 4 to 5 lines on the best word of life.

Just post your response in the comment section..

Tomorrow I'll write mine

-------------------------

Update

If i had one word to choose,
   I'd choose love above all the rest,
 Without it there is no legacy,
    No hope,
        Only Stress.

stoprosie.com

I wrote a letter today to http://www.stoprosie.com/ . You have to check out the website because he defines his argument really well and i can respect him for it.. but his definition of free speech and anti-americanism gets me. Below is the letter i wanted to send... and below that is the actual letter because he only accepted up to 500 words...

First Letter
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't know where to begin with this letter. So I’ll simply make a statement

Terrorism is a word, and doesn't exist in the real world beyond a society of individuals who deem another society’s action is inappropriate toward their standard of living. If the action is minor, it is deemed criminal, and as the intensity of the crime increases it goes up a scale until you commit crimes against a nation which we deemed as terrorist. (Which doesn’t make sense because a nation can't be held accountable for crimes only individuals. Why should a entity that doesn’t exist have immunity for action? Why did we create this scapegoat of nations and groups?)

But I’ll continue.
In the terrorists view they are solders fighting a battle against a suppressor. But in our view we are fighting a battle against a group of terrorists who will strap bombs to their body and blow themselves up to make a statement. Disregard they don't have enough money to buy suffocated weapons to fight us. Their fighting the only way they know how.

But you know all this
Your calling for a boycott against a TV show that has brought you some media time, some fame, and concentration on an issue. (Whether you wanted it or not). It seems that you simply want people to stop watching and turn a blind eye to the show. Not only that, you most likely would want to just shut up anything you deem as unpatriotic or anti-American if you had the power to do so.

Well tell me sir what is un-American? Do you know? Do you have a degree in unamericanism (yes I totally made up that word)? You say she has the right to say whatever she wants, but then state in your reason that you will no longer enable an anti-American individual to occupy our network television airtime.

So does this mean people still have the right to state their opinion in this country? (Obviously not if you feel the way that you do). Its kind of funny how this happens you view this as anti-American, I view it as patriotic.

I simply see the book 1984, or Stalin as the dictator covering the media from what he doesn’t believe needs to be said.

But I’ll stop here… I’m sorry your turning your back to the world and not seeing the 360 degree scale of issues. I can only hope that these lies, can lead to research into to the issue that no one knows the answer.

Brian Vincent

Actual Sent
-------------------------------------------------------
tell me sir what is un-American? Do you know? Do you have a degree in unamericanism (yes I totally made up that word)? You say she has the right to say whatever she wants, but then state in your reason that you will no longer enable an anti-American individual to occupy our network television airtime.

So only americans can make american statments in this country. To be honest I simply see the book 1984, or Stalin the dictator.

I’m sorry your not seeing the 360 degree scale of issues
peace

The Magic City

I hope you guys enjoy this one, this describes my trip to nyc (with some fun thrown in). although it changes from beginning middle and end as to how i wrote it. Mostly because i wrote this on 3 separate days.

Over the hills and far away to a land of concrete. We pass through a tunnel, 6 dollars a car load, to the land of red soxs meat. We enter this city, 5 miles per hour, it warns us against beeping with a hefty fine. 350 dollars i say, outrages.

Precious seconds pass, they turn into minutes, gridlock entraps our little vehicle. Some cars turn left, a red light occurs, and the cars from the adjacent street fill in the last remaining spots available on the other side.

We wait, patiently for the light to turn down the street, while ours is green. A few more spots open for us to turn, but an experienced driver cleverly beeps their horn in our direction, maneuvering his car around ours to take the spot away.

Clever bastard i thought. But no need, we'll be next. We finally get off the street, and start going uptown. But glancing at our map, we realize we needed to go down town. We wait for a street to turn right, which would be every other street, with the others turning left. At the next light we turn right, and right again. This takes us, directly downtown, although only in direction without the urgency of speed.

The lights on the street are all in unison, but a bladder troll jumped my girl friend which delayed our impending trip downtown. We decided to cut the trip short and park where we could so the troll couldn't cause a mess.

Parking in the smallest lot in the world, a clever man could stack, pile, and park your car any which way so that he could maximize his profits of owning such a small establishment. Grinning ear to ear he simply asked when we were to return and processed a reciept for us.

We left in haste for the trolls were still attacking my girl friends bladder. Finally finding shelter in a near by newsstand, individuals pay a small fee to use the bladder reducer machine. A troll asked me for a quarter, which i gave to him so he could buy booze from the moonshine man down the alley way.

With the trolls bought off, we continued down the street with a stiff wind at our backs improving our progress downtown. We would go through a light right when it turned, and reach the next light just as it turned green. It was as if we became synced with the grid work of the city system. Like some master planner watched us walk down the street, calculating the amount of steps and velocity it takes to get down the street just for us.

Approaching 17th street we decided to indulge in the local atmosphere. We found the Chelsea brewing company, a place where individuals relax to a intoxicating beverage and forget their belongings. Around the bar you'll find little items individuals forgotten by drinking this forgetful potion, most memorable being a old volume of the oxford dictionary.

After enjoying a good beverage we decided to head downtown a bit more to the magic bakery. I knew it was magical because people were waiting in line to get inside of the place. Almost as if the soup Nazi was real but a baker. So waiting in line, we saw cupcakes fly off the shelf. They flew into boxes of customers, like they were destined to be choose by that particular customer.

When we entered the little establishment a man with a cupcake tray head appeared. Singing softly his rap and moving through the crowd with his soloist beat, he restocks the cupcakes. But by the time his cupcakes are on the shelf 3 have already been placed in our own box.

We leave the bakery before more cupcakes could fly into our bellies, and walk across the street to see what these cuppy cakes were all about.

The pigeons noticed the behavior of the humans a few hours before our arrival. And were awaiting us patiently, noticing our dropped crumbs they'd fell, developing a plan of attack to gain the crumbs before the other birds noticed what happened.

Of course these cupcakes were amazing, and were instantly devoured inside our mouths. The crumbs provided a nice snack for the rats with wings. But again, once we were done the bladder trolls came and attacked my girlfriend. This time they attacked in the middle of the street as we were making our way back toward 17th street.

A kind catholic priest, holding a bible in his hand and preaching the good word saved my girlfriend once again from the bladder trolls by allowing her to use the holy reducer of bladder pain. This of course forced her to go into church, where she had to repent her sins in the urinal confessional. Upon leaving she had to say 3 hail Mary's and 5 our fathers.

With the trolls successfully battled off yet again, we approached a street fair in union square. The-booths were owned by tricky souls who donated money to save the cities farmers. However if you looked around, there's obviously no farmland in sight so their over charged prices were quite suspicious.

We continued our journey by walking around the square until we noticed another individual complaining about the overcharged prices. He started getting in an argument with one of the local shop keeps and after a brief exchange of words he was chased out of the market and started a fight across the street.

A man in a life guard chair in the middle of the winter signaled for the police to break up the fight over a crowd of hippies. These hippies were lazy and didn't regurgitate the mans request so it took several minutes for his plea to reach the officers ears. Meanwhile the argumentative individual was now surrounded by a crowd of city folk and was forced to fend for himself like a homeless person fighting over a piece of meat.

The police officer did finally take notice to the problem across the way and started to stroll while the entire city block was stopped, gazing in the direction of the disturbance. It was quite odd to notice that a part of the city stopped to see a bunch of idiots fight, but I guess its something to talk about around the dinner table.

With the disturbance silenced, we walked to the northern corner of the square and entered the biggest book store i have ever seen. There wasn't just one level either, nor two, or three, just one more then four existed. And the books, while organized into section were difficult to locate. The organizers with their master computers were the only ones who knew the exact location of all the books, but then again if you asked them which book you wanted, you would be obligated to buy the book, or at least be moderately interested in purchasing it.

It was at this time that my girl had to go and complete some business with the city folk. During this time i visited the heartland brewing company, which honestly wasn't that great. 6.50 a beer, give me a break, chelsea's a dollar less just down the street, and its better, not incomplete.

What you pay for is the atmosphere, and while its crowded, the people are nice, and i talked sports with out of townees like myself. I sipped my beer, but didn't order another, because the price was ugly.

But i glanced at my watch and no sooner I arrived, I had to leave, and meet my girl across the street. She wasn't there so i walked on Broadway, up to 22nd street. Down the way i realized i went to far and she was actually on 23rd street.

We kissed upon my arrival and began to walk back, our car parked across town. She suggested the subway, but i rejected the suggestion, and we enjoyed the emitting lights from vacant buildings. Only the cleaning clues remained.

It was 4 blocks that i realized my feet were starting to hurt, the trolls seek revenge for giving them the slip. They littered the ground with nails and tacs, fire and knives. She suggested the subway but i fought them, only to complain 15 blocks later.

Hardly walking the trolls almost got me, but we found a restaurant. Thai food filled, our starving bellies, from a man who had little English speak. Their food was good, but i forget the name and we paid our bill to leave. The trolls still on me, the garage insight, sweet relief for the man had the car ready.

Sitting silently, the trolls kept bothering me, all the way back to s-grove. They attacked me they attacked us, we said bad things, and we had our first fight by all stupid means.

The end

No regret

I want to yell at the people who put this in their profile "No Regrets".. They look back at their lifes and analyze their lives.. realize what they did they did they did for a reason and say life should be lived without regrets because at some time or another its exactly what a person wanted to do.

Now i don't know what tree you crawled up, what outfit didn't work for you, what boyfriend/girlfriend broke up with you, but to live life without regret. Well that's just not human.

Your looking at the miniscule problems that mean jack shit, regret isn't the word your looking for. Your actually thinking of the phrase "no worries". Worrying means your tormenting yourself by past thoughts. Regret means to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it. (dictionary.com)

An example of worrying is like, i had a bad day, i got in an accident and i don't know what my family is going to say. (you can add regret in here by saying if i didn't drink and drive tonight i wouldn't of been in an accident, which is something you probably shouldn't of done in the first place.)

Regret.. Is a whole different can of worms.. Its on a different plateau from from worrying. An example would be a convicted murderer awaiting his death sentence over steak, potatoes, carrots, lobster, shrimps, and a Klondike bar. And once he finished his meal, had his after meal cigarette, he lies down in his bed, and realizes his impending doom could of been averted if he was a better person. If the gun wasn't there, the man didn't mouth off to him, if he just listened, if i didn't pull the trigger.

Regret makes us human, and individuals who choose to live their lives without regret are stupid. Regret helps us learn, to degrade the meaning of a situation is to block out a portion of your life. To not deal with it, would be irresponsible. Don't degrade a lesson that could help you with the rest of your life and promote your own way of life that's idiotic.

Learn, live, love. Regret what you need to, and carry it with you. Let it bleed from your heart so others will understand the mistakes you've made beneath your mask. Or you'll go through life a ghost, blind to make the same mistake over and over like a newborn baby. coming up with a clever excuse why to not learn the regretful lesson and continue living your life in sweet oblivion.

Sickness

Sickness

I've been sick the past couple of days. Well actually the past week.. It started with a stomach virus that began when i got back from new york. It progressed into a fever, and vomiting. After a few days of this my throat started to get sore and i had a hard time swallowing food/water.. Needless to say its something you defiantly don't want to get (and hopefully I'm about done with it)..

When your sick you just don't care about your usual daily rendition. Instead a nagging reminder constantly rotates into your vision. You might not pay attention to it right away, but it'll hit harder. Start eroding your consciousness until your laying in bed just thinking about it. Hoping the ache will go away with a nights rest. But its still there. Your other priorities fade away when alls you want to do is consume a food and beverage without pain. You think it will run its course and wait it out. One day, two days, three days, and finally you start to feel better (only because you magically attacked the beast with the right over the counter drug method and sleep). But it returns and you finally make that trip to the hospital.

You see others with the sickness. Their eyes look at your disheveled hair and unshaven face they smirk but they also understand. For they too are in the same state.

So i sit around, wait for my name to be called, go back, get my drugs and come home.

I realize the drugs made me feel better. thus if you want to feel better sooner, go to the hospital right away instead of being a schmetlap like me and waiting 5 days to go to the hospital...

Killing Officer Reed

It was the morning of April 28th 1999, the open highway on interstate 80 allowed traffic to flow smoothly down the picture perfect day. The rolling hilltops, covered in green, streams full from the melted snow allowed for motorists to glance upon Pennsylvania's beautiful landscape and admire variety of trees that spread from mountain side to mountain side.

The speed limit is 65, but most motorists go 69-74 depending on how much they're in a hurry. You'll have the usual passing you at an increased speed, prob. one every 4 minutes, which isn't that unusual at all to see. Typically all these cars will go by un-noticed, and typically get to their destination a few minutes ahead of schedule.

On the other hand, at the end of every month in Pennsylvania certain set of individuals "police officers"needs to obtain a quota or a set amount of speed violators that travel on the Pennsylvania roads. If they were doing their job like they should be, no one would be going over the speed limit. But since they sometimes allow people to go faster then usual, and then decide on certain days to bust people for going over the speed limit not telling the public which day, it turns out to be a very profitable job that produces a decent income for the state.

On this particular day, my main man Dan is traveling down the road, he just was fired from his job and is moving his stuff from his office to his home. Of course he doesn't know what time of the month it is, he's just going his usual 8 miles per hour over the speed limit. But of course he doesn't have cruse control so at times it goes a little faster or a little slower depending on his state of mind/how often he's constantly checking his speed.

Down the road a ways officer reed just finished writing his 5th ticket of the day, he just pulled over a young lady. He smirked to himself when he saw the registration noticing it was registered to her parents and couldn't resist to ask the girl "does your parents know your driving this fast?" the young girl shrugged his shoulders in the air, stutter spoke, the reaction he was looking for. He simply wrote the ticket and let her on her way.

driving down the road a few more miles he pulled to his final nifty hiding spot before he would have to start all over again on the other side of the highway. Safely hidden away, he reaches over his seat for his krispy cream donuts and radar gun that lied adjacent to his seat. Only need a few more to meet this months quota, i guess i should of started a little earlier but this job is too easy the officer thought.

Meanwhile Dan continues driving down the road, he begins to let his mind wonder, what in the hell am i going to do now? fucking shit, that cock sucking back stabbing whore of a boss, if i only knew where he parked his car he wouldn't have any tires today. Ugh... Slightly aggravated he continues his way down the road to the tune of angry hardcore music blasting from all his windows.

Dan didn't realize it but his car was starting to approach the warning speed zone of 10-15 mph over the speed limit meaning on certain days when the police force decides to uphold the law in Pennsylvania you might get pulled over.

Up ahead officer reed was grinning ear to ear. No sooner did he sit down and get to finish his krispy cream donuts, then another speeder flies by. What idiots, can't they read the posted speed limit sign? I just feel like tearing into this guy when i get him.

The lights flash and he pulls out of his spot, Dan noticed looked at his speedometer and was instantly livid. Fucking 10 miles over and he's pulling me over? WTF? FUCK FUCK FUCK instantly turning down the radio and getting his appropriate papers ready.

Officer reed saw him pull over a yellow vw ahead of traffic and was pleased he didn't have to go that far because the turn around was just a quarter mile up ahead. He did what he usually did, found his papers, looked at the last reading on the speedometer, and started walking toward the vehicle.

Upon approaching the vehicle he noticed a bunch of boxes packed away inside the car, stopping for a brief moment to glance in he knew it wasn't college moving day so he was a little suspicious upon walking up to the individual.

Dan:"Good afternoon officer"
Officer Reed: "Good Afternoon, do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

Dan did know how fast he was going but he wasn't ready to admit defeat yet. He thought for a second and said.

Dan:"Why i was going the speed limit sir"
Officer Reed:"That's not what i have here son, you were going 75 miles per hour, that's 10 miles over the speed limit."
Dan:"Oh really? man I'm sorry if i was going that fast, there must be an error with your equipment"
Officer Reed: Very unlikely, can i see your license, registration, and proof of insurance?
Dan:-hands over his materials.
Officer Reed: Looks over the information briefly outside the car... So what's in these boxes here son?
Dan: Its work related material
Officer Reed: What kind of work do you do.
Dan: Well honestly, its none of your business.
Officer Reed: Son just answer the questions and I'll get you on your way.
Dan: Sir i don't really have to be anywhere, and you honestly don't have any business with the contents of any of my belongings.
Officer Reed: Very Well...

Officer reed went back to his car and started to run the information through his onboard computer, he only found a few speeding tickets on his record, nothing major but still wondered about these boxes and how far he should push to get to take a peek.

Dan on the other hand was thinking what a cock mother fucker this guy was. I get fired from work, and i don't feel like telling that to anyone right now, especially not some nobody officer in dipset pa. WTF is he doing just give my ticket and let me get out of here.

Officer reed decided to fill out the paper work, and he slowly approached the car again, upon entering he made Dan sign the speeding ticket as a signal that he received the citation. After he received the paper officer reed asked if he could see whats inside the boxes.

Dan said: dude there my belongings, get a warrant if you want to search my shit.
Officer reed: Step out of the car sir.
Dan: what? are you serious?
Officer reed: Sir (holding his hand to his holster) please step out of the car.
Dan: Ughhh alright. Dan unbuckled his seat belt and was outside of the car.
Officer reed: Since you won't cooperate with me son I'm going to have to search this boxes under probable cause. You just had to help yourself out son. Just put your hands on the hood of the car and stay there until I'm done.
Dan: You were just going to search my boxes anyways asshole, is this how law enforcement works? you don't want someone to go through your stuff and you call that probable cause, give me a break.
Officer Reed: Shut your hole, do you know its a Friday and i can have you sent to jail for the entire weekend if i really wanted to..
Dan: At least meals would be free, and i could have the possibility of suing your ass to high heaven when your done.
Officer Reed: We'll see about that, you probably are moving some kind of drug or another. He began to look through the boxes looking for anything he could find.
Officer reed found family photos, photos of friends, and books. Pencils, computer equipment, documents, and placks.
What the fuck is all of this? Earthlink? Did you just steal all this stuff from earthlink? I'm going to have to give this company a call.
Dan:Go right ahead, i was just fired from them
Officer Reed: So you stole things from their office?
Dan: If you call my things and my work i did there, and you classify it as their things, then you'd be right officer dipset.

Officer Reed: Son are you crazy or something, what's your deal, so you got a bad rap today.
Dan: And i got a nosy officer who just destroyed a perfectly good pack job that's going to take hours to clean up.
Officer Reed: Well I can't find anything, you can go on your way.
Dan: Just what i thought fucker... you'll be hearing from my lawyer asshole.
Officer Reed: What? and that's suppose to scare me?
Dan: just go, you caused a mess already.

Officer reed got back in his car satisfied with the mess he put this asshole thought. He can't even hold down a steady job, how the hell does he think he's going to get a lawyer to fight this. He puts his car in gear drives a quarter mile down the road and waits at his turn around point for his next victim.

Dan on the other hand just stairs at his car.. All his papers, his work, thrown every which way. His books lay on the street, and his speeding ticket laying neatly on the dashboard. Mother fucker, i just wish i could kill that mother fucker. Dan quickly made a few piles in his car, and regained some order. He realized the most of this is going to have to wait so he rolled his windows up and started down the road.

If i could just see that cock sucking whore again I'd...... WTF there he is... again... does he do this all day? Is it that time of month? I mean seriously.. Theres no reason for this.. Dan slows down just in time to notice officer reeds flashers come on... Dan lays on the horn, and flips off officer reed. Officer reed noticing this hits the breaks as he pulls out, only to get hit by an oncoming tanker truck splashing his brains in the side of the grill...

Projects

I have found out after college you need a diverse amount of activities to grab hold of your time so you don't lose your mind. Firstly I'll say I'm most likely going to be working down in Harrisburg for a company called rite aid, I don't plan on moving down there as of yet but I'll be able to get money to fund some projects of mine.

The first project of course is my book circles which is coming along alright, i realized if you concentrate too much on a project you get tired of it. You need breaks from a project that's going to take a vast amount of time to accomplish. I hope to have my first draft of my book by the end of may but realistically it'll be more near the end of July.

The second project I'm working on is a project that i tossed aside when i left my job at penteledata. I had this idea for a website called brew trip which i definably don't want to get into a site where people can go to and rate beer (ratebeer and beeradvocate) for those sites already do that. Instead I want to properly properly educate individuals on beer, give them a tool that will enable them to be better informed brew travelers, and come up with a way to promote brew destinations whether it be through some award system, judgement process, or other means yet defined. Actually traveling to these places and doing a photojournalism type idea also seems like a neat thing to throw in..

The third project is just jamming with the band again, recording our random jams and working on a few songs.. Its the lowest on the project list but if we get serious again i can always throw up the old band website.

(You always need three examples to make yourself look creditable, i don't know why but it always looked better then a yes or no answer.. You always have to have the possibility of both, or maybe even neither. Anymore then that and your rambling)

I just like having these three projects now, I cut out the hour i spent everyday playing city of heroes to pursue these and i sometimes get so caught up in them i have to glance at the clock more then i should..

The main thing i guess is, you enjoy what your doing. You have breaks from what you enjoy, and you finish your goals.

Warning Signals

Warning signs reveal,
               the contemplated thoughts,
          of our past mistakes,

The bump in the road,
                 Unidentified,
                       Allows for us to take part,

To make our voice heard,
                   In the council of society,

So that future generations,
              will know before its too late,
          the troubles that lie ahead,

That instead of stumbling,
              They will rise,
                       In the face of adversity,

                They will admire,
Our one line poetic thoughts,
                            of centuries past,

They will not realize,
             the time and effort,
         for a word to spread,
                  across the globe,

Those words did not burn,
                          Like wildfire,

They were ironed out,
                 with a sword and shield,

The battles fought,
                 won or lost,
remembered or forgotten,
                remain constant in our ever changing world,

That our ideas,
              can not simply be changed,
and that freedom,
                  will not be morphed by the space bar and random keys,

No one likes bloodshed,
                      But its powerful,

It makes a statement,
                    when we cut off,
the tyrants fingers.

The Sunday Drive to Church

Leaving the house has become a daily chore. The husband, sits in the car, impatiently, awaiting the exiting of his wife. He knows he could avoid this situation, the impending argument, if he just woke her up a little earlier. But then again, the wife would wake up groggy, tired, and irate. Causing her to take even more time to get ready, slowing down his own progress.

Analyzing all those statistics from ESPN would constantly become interrupted. This in turn would cause him to have to watch Sports Center twice instead of once. The husband could also go around and unplug the coffee pot, toaster, the usual suspects. But she would double check to see if their unplugged causing him to lose that time he already spent unplugging everything.

Now he could take a shower right before bed, allowing for the hot water to build up overnight. But then when she hit the snooze button on her alarm clock, she wouldn’t have “that cue” (the shower turning off). Causing her to completely sleep in and blame the husband for being a dirty old inconsiderate fool.

Moving his processing power from his mind to his body he reaches for the radio. He decides to hit the first preset button, allowing musical waves from the nearest pop radio station to flow through his mind. He starts to shout, trying to drone out the catchy phrases of Avril Levine, but the neighborhood kid peddling by could only make out something he just recently heard on the outtakes of American Idol.

Growing increasingly impatient the husband honks the horn, causing the kid to giggle to himself and peddle away. The wife on the other hand finally emerges from the house to an oh so familiar scene. Her eyes cast down the don’t start with me look. And the husband rolls his window down, yelling “Come On” over Justin Timberlake’s bringin sexy back.

The husband hatefully rolls up his window as the wife meanders over to the car door, lifts the handle and finds the door locked. She raises her hands in the air as to pray, and puts her hand on the handle again. Like they’ve practiced a million times before the husband hits the unlock button on the door at the same exact time as she tries to open the door. The resulting factor has every other door but hers open, which would help the situation if he was a taxi driver.

“Hold your horses” the husband yells, “You’ll break the damn door if you keep it up”. The wife just stands still, looking into his eyes and contemplates trying to do it again to see how pissed off she could make him this morning. He finally hits the button the and wife is whisked into the car by a batch of fresh air just in time to hear “the best songs on the radio 94.1 WQKX Sunbury” and she turned the volume down. Rummaging through her purse the husband puts his hand on the back of her seat and slowly backs out of the driveway.

Wanting to see how she looked, the wife pulls the blinder down and exposes the mirror to take a look at herself as she always does. As they pulled up to the first stop sign, the husband pounds the blinder up and for the 100^th time shouts “Do you want to get into an accident? I can’t see the road when that things down.”

The wife who was already satisfied with how she looked rummaged through her purse and found what she was looking for. Nail polish. It didn’t take long for the husband to glance over and protest the smell of nail polish, but she simply said if you woke me up earlier this could of been avoided.

Seclusion

The candle burns lower as the room grows colder 

while the spiders feast upon their prey.

The dust grows denser while the man sits tenser, 

as his cough echoes in the room.  

Work stacks higher, 

sounds from the fire, 

his foot gently tapping against the wooden floor.  

Shadows from afar, 

made by the stars, 

creep ever so slowly from the window.

The man is alone, 

cold to the bone, 

secluded from the rest of the world.  

A quill drips black, 

sitting on a rack, 

gradually changing the color of the wood.  

Recalling memories, 

taking remedies, 

a shot of whiskey to easy his nerves.  

The man starts to laugh, 

when the bottle is half, 

as creatures lurk outside his door.

His heart beats faster, 

the crickets a bastard, 

skipping there harmonic melody.  

The bottle is empty; 

his body becomes hefty, 

with dizziness clenching his frail mind.

The room becomes black, 

as the man starts to hack, 

uncomfortably suppressing the inevitable blowout.  

Ten dollars now lay on the floor; 

the man never viewed it that way before.

Rats came happily, 

as the man sat sadly, 

watching them devour the pile of stench.  

His gun lay loaded; 

a loud explosion, 

smoke fills the little room.

 

Load the bullet, 

pack the powder, 

the power of god is in his hands.  

The man grows tired, 

the gun rises higher, 

and the bullet of freedom will reign once more.

Confidence

It has lately occurred to me that confidence is a difficult attribute for individuals to obtain/maintain. The first problem of confidence is building it, whether it be for school, work, dating, military, ect. How do we exactly obtain confidence? Do we need to fail over and over again at a task; finally completing it and realizing how to apply it to other activities? Well that’s sounds like knowledge, but it takes knowledge of a task to build the foundation of confidence.

Now is simply knowledge everything when it comes to confidence? Of course not, you need to be able to apply that knowledge in some atmosphere over and over again. Gaining experience through your successes and failures. But then again, is experience needed for someone to be a confident person? Someone who fails constantly at an experience isn’t going to be as confident as someone who constantly succeeds. If the person can improve from their failures and eventually succeed he has traveled through adversity and a person who has experienced adversity and came through on top is a more confident person the someone who simply succeeds.

Once they succeed, they must be able to look at other individuals and be able to tell them the knowledge/experience they obtained. A confident person is a leader, who might not always be right, but will learn from their mistakes.

So we need a knowledgeable/successful person who has failed. Traveled through the land of adversity and was able to lead hundreds without light.

Now the tricky part is, how great of a failure does it take to lose your confidence? Does losing the hundreds of individuals your leading to darkness cost you to think twice when you only thought once. Failing a paper or receiving an awful grade on a paper you thought in your mind was perfect. Breaking up with your girlfriend after years of servitude.

I know this, once confidence is obtained, it takes a great failure to knock someone off their pedestal. And once off, they must start from square once, revising their knowledge, reflecting the experience, and expressing concern to others where failure did not seem like an option.

Iraq

I've been reading a bunch lately on the current situation in Iraq and the degrading coalition of the willing. I can't help but look at the country and say it was doomed from the get go. A foreign government invades and topples a regime, only to side with half of the population. Creating the roots for a civil war in a country that honestly needs to be divided if peace is going to be pursued.

The religious beliefs of the Sunni and Shiite are not comparable with each other. Our basic moral values such as the freedom of religion seems alien and they simply want to work with other like minded individuals. They live in a world of absolutes, black and white, right and wrong, while the united states brings in a shade of grey to a culture that's not ready for it.

When someone says no to a situation or law in our country, we might protest, write a letter to the congress man/woman, organize meetings and talk with other individuals. These simple actions are not translating properly over there, and they do not realize how much can be accomplished with time and effort.

What they realize is that giving their life makes a statement, it a crude way but a legitimate way in their eyes. Wasting time arguing with a side that you hate like heated debates before the American civil war will not be resolved while we are there. Governments are forged in bloodshed, conflict, and determination. The side that wants to govern most and stands up to their ideas firmly will win.

I can see no reason why we should not at least support a side by equipment and training if it fits the best interest of America, i do not however want to see us wasting countless lives because we are fighting for a side that does not want to stand up for a government we enacted.

Part one image idea

This Picture picture depicts Alvin awaiting to slip into sweet alcoholic unconsciousness.

                                        Brian Vincent

Circles Cover Idea

The following picture I drew was a concept book cover for the project Circles.

           Enjoy,
                   Brian Vincent

Circles : Part Nine :The driver

David sits quietly,
Next to her,
Breathing in,
The joys of ecstasy,

Not wanting to move,

Ignoring the phone,
his beeper,
the faint sounds,
of the night,

Holding her tightly,
around her waist,
he closes his eyes,
soon to awake,
to her arms around him,

Drifting softly into sleep,
the body warming,
he exposes his feet,

no longer wanting her,
he rolls over,
content,
to control his body heat,

Lights gradually criss-cross,
form patterns,
a hand,
reaches for his body,

Suddenly awakened,
he realizes his partner,
has entered the room,

Davids hand,
caught in the cookie jar,
his partners girl,
laying next to him,

"What the fuck is going on?",
his roommate asked,
David tried to think,
to come up,
with a decent excuse,

He could only think,
when he was younger,
When his mother,
would catch him,

Sneaking a cookie,
right before dinner,
Oh that cookie,
it turned into my monster,

"I'm sorry dude,
I don't know what to say,"

"Well get dress,
this isn't over,
but we have a emergency,
a 390d,"

To part 8.5 or To Part 10

Circles: Part Eight : The Mountains Hideout

Stratus clouds,
Litter the sky,
Periodically allowing,
The sun,
To break through,

Heavenly TV,
Casts the easterly shadows,
Causing our darkened imprints,
To follow our footsteps,

Gazing a far,
The Meandering Trail,
A maple,
A oak,
A walnut,
A birch,

Randomly placed,
Across mountain sides,
Stripped of colors,
Persephone’s curse,

A lone evergreen,
Greets our passing,
Blocking wildly,
The northerly chill,

Rattles of metal,
Rhythmically follow,
The beat of the drum,
Marching towards,
Charles hideout,

Setting out camp,
We plan our assault,
On A lone complex,
On the distant hill,

We’ll pass through the gate,
At 19 hundred,
Clear the building,
Room by room,

Groups of two,
Moving fast,
Eliminating all,
In the resistance force.

 To Part 7 or To Part 8.5

Circles: Part Seven: Dressed in White

His words radiated in my head,
He could save me,
but not my race?

I think,
Why am I so special for this privileged honor?

I take his hand,
he helps me to my feet,
but,
the others charge,

Are they blinded,
or choose not to see,
the man next to me?

Now Standing alone,
in empty space,
I realize he sees something,
glaring in my direction.

I act dumb,
look around,
befuddled by his acute attention,

I ask,
"what do i owe for this special visit?"
he smiles,
remains silent,
pinching nerves inside my brain.

I already know that I'm special,
I know I'm better then this,
But to forget these men,
that's just not my style.

"You can show me a better life,
away from this place,
asking only for my obedience,
but then again,
I'm not your dog"

"You sir,
Gave up on me,
Like you gave up on all these men,
that's why you created this place,
that's why these seven gates exist"

"My salvation,
is not with you,
its conquering you,
your wasteful ideology,
your talk of redemption,
which slips through your fingers when we pass"

"Maybe that's why I'm here,
Because you don't want to be reminded your wrong,
That these people can be saved,
they're good people,
who don't worship you,
hand or foot."

"What you are doing is inexcusable,
and when we meet again,
i hope you take my hand,
and help,
not shun."

Nodding,
disappointed,
he points to a path in the distance.

Clutching the cloth in my hand,
i throw it toward my men,
Their eyes glow with hope,

I guide our decent,
down the slope,
through the trails,
of exile.

To Part 6 or To Part 8

Circles: Part Six: Battlegrounds

Author Note: This is a combination of storyline between circles 4 and 5. so it would be wise to re-read those parts to understand how we are traveling through Alvin's mind. Also I enjoy the view of two story lines, one in the real world, and one inside the consciousness of Alvin. Its getting increasingly difficult to continue onward because periodically I now have urges to go back an develop the story a little more, but i feel i need to continue moving and not get too concentrated on one particular area yet.

The sky,
Its caving in.

Upon my impact,
a crater,
I must Climb,

The swirl,
of Browns,
and Blues,

My head,
piercing,
form blurred light.

Bones broken,
groans sounded,
laying helpless.

The sky changes, clouds roll in from the west, and moisture hits the oppostie side of the field.

My hand lay,
outward,
a mace,
a shield.

Across the field,
a hand,
reaching,
out of their hole.

A silence , watching across the field, as hundreds repeated our steps.

The heart beats,
The minds race,
And the body full fills our actions.

The voices of panic,
our leaders,
Took control,

Irrational thoughts,
they,
lead the charge.

Our footsteps,
softened,
by the wet earth.

A look of puzzlement,
of horror,
from our opponets.

Why do we play heavy metal music?

Their last thoughts,
before the slaughter.

I place,
my mace,
in a face.

Chunks of flesh,
I wipe,
with my finger.

Their thoughts,
still linger.

We congratulate,
take pride,
our victory.

Hundreds of victims are perished in our wake,

What a view,
the sky turns pink,
we set our camp,
across a lake.

The fires burn,
We toast
to glory,
victory,
our honor.

But wait..
What's that music?
Heavy metal?

I turn,
to see them,
charging in,

My eyes widened,
A beacon for their sword,


Jab,
Slash,
Cut,
Thrust,
These motions impacting my body,

As fast as they came,
they were gone,
Vanished among the stars,

The light fading,
from our eyes,
and the cold seeping in,
I say my prayers

Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust,
the land replenishes our bodies.

Where flesh once was,
dust took its place,
and then we race,

Finding the villains,
and destroying them again,
Wiping the dust from my mace,

They counter attacked,
We attacked back,
slaughtering each other,
until the earth took hold of our bodies.

No longer resembling our selves but still filled with vengeance we attacked again,
Thousands of times,
across the field,
and back,

My hand laid,
once more awaiting the earth.
alas it found,
finding a cloth,
pure white,

I wipe my face,
my body,
the flesh returns,
I glance upward,

see a man,
bearded,
glowing,
and white,

The words he spoke,
Come my child,
away from this place,
I can help you,
but not this race.

To Part 5 or To Part7

Circles: Part Five : Henderson

A broken glass,
the wet floors stained from self indulgence,
the alcohol,
their cure.

"Some of these people have problems,
problems i can thankfully profit from,"
Henderson thought,
but tonight,
its enough.

"Alright,
everyone out,
Its time for you guys to go home,"

Alvin didn't flinch,his arm propped his head up,
While patrons were hurrying up,
finishing the last sips of life,
Henderson noticed how the news effected Alvin.

He would give Alvin a few minutes to regain some composure, sliding a glass of water down the bar.

"Drink some water,
I'll call a cab,
just relax,
I need to start closing"

Alvin reached for the glass,
taking a slow sip,
he placed it down,
exactly where it was.

Walking toward the back room,
Picking up empty glasses,
emptying out ash trays,
and then throwing them away.

"What are you doing with those Henry?"
The dishwasher came out,
puzzled with an ash tray less room,
Henderson Replied,
"Its against the law to smoke here kid,"

Shit,
do you mind if i have one last one?
Reaching for an ashtray from the bag,
Henderson shrugged "go for it."

Whipping down the tables,
Henderson noticed the bouncers coming in,
starting to help,
and realizing he could now concentrate on the bar,
He let his minions do the dirty work.

Approaching the bar,
Henderson noticed Alvin passed out,
walking briskly over in his direction,
the telephone rang.

Changing priorities,
Henderson reached for the phone,
Placed it,
between the shoulder and the ear,
and said hello.

It was his friends,
wondering when he was getting off work,
listening to them speak Henderson realized,
he was slowly being sucked into,
an interesting conversation vortex,

Minutes pass by,
and with the bar area now clean,
he realized,it would be easier to speak later,
and hung up.

Walking over to Alvin he spoke,
"Hey Alvin you want me to call that cab?"
there was no reply,
not even a motion.

Henderson walked over closer to him,
"Hey man,
its time to get up and go home,
sleepy time."

Still no movement.

Henderson shook Alvin,
And with a loud thud,
Alvin fell faster,
then a pack of milk duds.

To Part 4 or To Part 6

Circles: Prolog: Alvin

Authors Note: After writing a part of my story I found it necessary to actually begin in the real world. Giving my character an density and something individuals could relate with.
sloofties - a female whore/idiot
schmetlaps - a male whore/idiot

Alvin,
Gets out of his car,
Adjacent to the bar,
No parking 9-5,
Mon through Sat,

Thank god for Sunday he thinks.

He locks his doors,
Placing his keys in his jacket pocket,
The suns going down,
Across town,

But tonight,
the lights will shine,
throughout night.

Alvin walks in,
His seat open at the bar,
Just the usual's sitting around,
Finishing their drinks,
Before the night crowd fills in.

These are the last days of smoke and air.
Without one,
We lose another aspect of our past.
With a smile on his face,
And a box in hand,

The gently tapping sounds occur,
Before the flame,
And light.

The barkeep approaches Alvin,
“The usual I presume”

Alvin replies
“Not tonight, Its my treat”

With a fistful of money,
Alvin places the Benjamin on the bar,
The sloofties and schmetlaps all approach him,
Immediately befriending his money.

Oblivious to their sudden kindness,
Alvin lined the bar with shots.
An event that hasn’t been accomplished,
Well at least for a very long time,

They toasted to health,
Happiness,
Hometowns,
And sports teams.

Threw darts,
Told stories,
Played pool,
And sang songs.

With a whole in his left pocket,
He bought one more round of drinks for crowd,
And finally sat back down.

They all slowly make their exit,
Leaving just us to talk,
The thoughts of our past,
The depths of our mind,

The unconscious man at the end of the bar.

 To Part 1

Why do we run in circles? (the chase, realization of happyness, The circle)

The chase

When traveling down the road of life, we are initially by ourselves. We know exactly where we'll end up.. That light at the end of the tunnel that calls our name. But then something occurs, we're distracted, we find something that we thought didn't exist. Another being.

Were driving down that path, passing traffic left and right, occasionally glancing left and right. We see others looking in out direction, but were traveling too fast. We never realize how much the people we pass have in common with our lives.

Unknowing to the previous statement, we decide at some moment to take our time. Slow down for a part of the journey. Glancing out over our windshields we realize the beautiful landscape passing before the eyes.

It happens, not quickly, but suddenly. A car rolls up beside you. You glance over smiling, and they immediately smile back. A connection is formed between the two. You begin to exchange thoughts, ideas and even music (passing cd's across the connection as though you were stopped completely.

But they look forward. Starting to travel at an increasing speed you try to keep up. Noticing the danger to your own life you slow down. And notice they're exiting a mile ahead of you. You try to keep up, but no matter how fast you travel, while the connection seems to still exist, you realize they circled around in the same path. Your on the highway again experiencing the same thoughts but without the individual; they're 100 meters ahead of you.

Realization of happiness

You live where you live, you encounter your friends, family, job, location daily. This life you've chosen has made you happy. In your life, your the happiest you've ever been.

Now take that emotion your feeling, is it the same for every other individual? Of course not. People have different dream, ideals and perspectives. What's happiness to you might not be happiness to them.

Now they are also happy. Their life is perfect to themselves and you realize from your own perspective that they seem to be happy. Their life compared to your own seems a little brighter, the goals they achieved belittle certain goals in your life that would make you happy in your own sense.

Now sit there, and rate your entire life on a scale. Rate every individual goal you own and compare it to the scale of other individuals. There goals you seem to understand. Written on paper you compare them to your own and congratulate them on the life they live.

So i ask you, can you truly understand happiness, in the perspective of another individual? Having the same goals, desires, the rating system that they have?

The circle

So the question becomes why do we run in circles? Firstly we attempt to understand. We contemplate the possible angles, realize its futile to react, and come to a point of acceptance. Secondly, you can run in circles all your life and never fully understand the meanings behind the meanings. Circles go forever, and we become obsessed by them. There is never a ending point of understanding, just the realization of moving forward. Thirdly, circles exist so we can learn to change direction. New goals, new dreams unrealized, and the lessons learned from the experience move us forward on our path.

I write circles to illustrate my circle. Although in metaphors, i hope everyone can pick out certain points that will help them break out of the circle they have circum to. Your not trapped, you just don't realize the potential of moving forward.

I hope my writings help individuals, although i am trapped in my own circle until i finish my writing, I hope that others will will foresee the greatness of experience in situations, and find themselves moving forward after I am done.

Circles: Part Four : Freefall

Propelling weightless through empty space,
Through distant lands,
As though a race,
The wind whips past my body.

Stars and galaxies past the eyes,
Listening to the screams,
The alarms of terror,
We fall together.

My comrades,
My friends,
I ask them,
Why do we fall from distant stars?

I reach for them for guidance,
but they’re lost in self-reliance.

My voice droned,
In outer space,
They can not hear,

Blinded,
by pure horror.

Images past before my eyes,
My childhood dreams,
Transformed,
Unrealized.

Did I change?
Become unwanted?
Or unknowingly dissolve ?

A grain of salt,
In salt water.
Were bound together,
By purest of liquids.

Solar winds guide our essence,
A passing probe,
Studies our existence.

A meteor hits,
Deflects our direction,
Were pointed now toward,
The nearest light.

It burns,
It separates,
It takes us all.
The planet cools as we fall.

Landing finally on our backs,
We look above,
Another Liquid,

Falling,

Across the field.

To Part 3 or To Part 5